The NBA is so "Money"...... 2/17

With the NBA All Star game upon us, I thought I'd give out some mid season awards and do it "Swingers" style... So with no further ado, Double Down and Mikey will take it from here. (All quotes from the movie "Swingers")

1) Trent: "You know, I'm gonna find me two waitresses here and I'm gonna pull me a Fredo."
Mikey: "Yeah, Well they're all skanks"
Trent: "What are talking about? Look at all the beautiful babies here"
Mikey: "The beautiful babies don't work midnight to six on a Wednesday. This is the skank shift."

This quote is for our "Most Surprising Team" award. You never know when you're going to find a beautiful baby and this year the Phoenix Suns have been it. Nobody was expecting too much from them before the season started but they've surprised everyone by putting together a record of 41-12 and leading the Pacific Division by over 7 games. How are they doing it? Just like us in "Swingers", old school baby, old school. They get out,run and push the ball, and remind everyone of the great up-tempo teams of the 70's and 80's. They are leading the NBA in points per game by averaging over 110 per game which is 7 points more than the next closest team. Do they play defense? Nope, not a lick. That's what makes them so much fun to watch. They come out every game and dare you to out score them. Will they win the Championship? Probably not, but they sure as hell are fun to watch. I wish more teams played like them, it would make the league much more entertaining.

2) Rob: "I'm considering taking a part as Goofy"
Charles: "Well, at least it's Disney, right?"

Disappointment, as our buddies Rob and Charles touched on, comes in many ways. The "Most Disappointing Team" in the NBA so far has to be the Minnesota Timberwolves. Here was a team that had the best record in the Western Conference last year, making it all the way to the Western Conference finals, and here they are a season later not even at .500. Currently they are in 9th place and if the playoffs started now, would be on the outside looking in. They just fired Flip Saunders (here's a scoop for you, Head Coach of the Lakers next year...) and Kevin McHale has come down out of the General Managers Suite to take over. What's their problem? Mainly dissension in the locker room. Both Sam Cassell and Latrell Sprewell are looking for new big money contracts (they both have families to feed and 9 million a year just doesn't go that far anymore....), and with the Timberwolves refusal to give it to them, they've pretty much tanked the season. Garnett has been continuing to play great, but he can't do it alone. If McHale can motivate them, they do have a favorable schedule in the 2nd half. We're going to give them the benefit of the doubt and say they get a little giddy in their hop and overtake the Lakers for the 8th and final seed.

3) Trent: "They're gonna give daddy the Rain Man suite! You dig that? We're going to Vegas, Mike."
Trent,Mike: "VEGAS!"
Mike: "You think we'll get there by midnight?"
Trent: "Honey, we're gonna be up five hundy by midnight!"
Trent,Mike: "VEGAS, BABY! VEGAS!"

Ahh, the excitement and suspense of Vegas. This quote brings us to the "Most Entertaining Player" in the NBA. Lots of good choices out there (Nash,Nowitzki,Stoudamire), but for our money, we like Dwayne Wade of the Miami Heat. Wade has been like Superman so far this year. Everyone knew Miami would be good with Shaq, but Wade has been the heart and soul for them. At the end of every close game, Wade is taking all the shots, and more times than not, making them. He leads them in points per game, assists, steals and is 3rd in rebounds. And unlike other marquee players, he plays defense too. He's one of the few players in the game that really holds your attention for a whole game. Truly entertaining to watch.

4) Rob: "Where is this place?"
Mike: "For some reason the cool bars in Hollywood have to be hard to find and have no sign. It's kind a like a speak easy kind a thing. It's kind a cool, like you're in on some kind of secret. You know, you tell a chick you been some place it's like bragging you know how to find it."

When you want to make it big, sometimes you have to move to someplace new and learn how to fit in. This leads us into our "Rookie of the Year" award. For our money, we like Emeka Okafor of the Charlotte Bobcats. Okafor has been everything for the expansion Bobcats that he was for the NCAA champion Connecticut Huskies: a rebounder, a shot-blocker and a tough inside scorer. His impact has everything to do with why the Bobcats have been so competitive when everyone expected pushovers. Others getting mentioned here are Dwight Howard, Luol Deng and Ben Gordon.

5) Trent: "She can't roll the dice. She's business class."
Mikey: "Business class?"
Sue: "Big butt. You know, can't fly coach."

Sometimes you have high hopes for someone but inevitably they just let you down. In other words, disappointment. This brings us to our "Most Disappointing Player" award. We feel so far in the first half that goes to Carmelo Anthony. He does average 20 points a game, but his .395 FG% is pathetic given how many shots he takes, and other than his 5.7 rebounds, he doesn't contribute impressively in any category. Unless he can raise his FG%, steals, and 3PM, he's never going to be anything more than an average player at best. After his breakout season last year, he just hasn't lived up to all the hype, and has been a huge disappointment for us...

6) Trent: "Our little boy is groweds up tonight! And you know what big boy, you're groweds up! you're groweds up! Yeah, dig that!!!"

Our "Most Improved Player" award goes to Bobby Simmons of the Los Angeles Clippers. Simmons' improvement has been dramatic. He won a spot on the Clippers because of his hustle and defense, but he has taken a huge leap offensively this season, averaging 15.9 points on 47.1 percent shooting. His career averages beginning the season were 5.5 points on 40.3 percent shooting. With all the negative things that always seem to follow the Clippers, he is one of the bright spots. On top of it, he seems like a good guy who appreciates the good fortune that has come to him.

7) Trent: "I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's really hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you, know, the guy you're not quite sure whether or not you like yet. You're not sure where he's coming from. Okay? You're a bad man. You're a bad man. You're a bad man....."

Who's a bad man in the NBA and the winner of our "Most Psychotic" award? Why Ron Artest of the Indiana Pacers of course! Nobody will forget the scene of Artest bolting from the scorer's table into the stands in Detroit to ignite the worst fans/players brawl in American sports history. The reigning defensive player of the year, the Pacers' All-Star forward was suspended for the season. He is the ultimate Psycho, too frustrating to embrace and too valuable to let go. The guy has all the talent in the world but just can't keep his emotions in check. I hope his singing career is going well, because at this rate he's NFL (Not For Long) in the NBA. Der Kommissar Stern is now just looking for reasons to run him out of the league.

8) Trent: "Look at all the beautiful honeys here. Excuse me darling, I'm sorry, wow. I want you to remember this face here, this is the guy behind the guy behind the guy."

Who's our "Coach of the Year" so far? We've got to go with Nate McMillan of the Seattle Supersonics. McMillan has taken a team that was 37-45 last season and has them playing fast-paced, unselfish basketball that creates plenty of shots for everybody. He also has imposed tougher defense and a more aggressive, attacking offense, a style he has long wanted to use and the results have shown why. McMillan is in the last year of his contract, and with Seattle not anxious to renew him, he's started taking risks figuring he's got nothing to lose. And it's paid off.

9) Sue: "I'm telling ya you're money."
Trent: "You're so f*&%$ money!"

Who's been the "money" so far in the NBA? Our mid season "MVP" goes to Lebron James, followed closely by Steve Nash. Lebron has elevated his game to the next level and has led Cleveland to a 30-20 record (3rd best in the Eastern Conference). The Cavaliers only won 35 games last year and actually the last time they won 30 games before the all star break was back in the 92-93 season when they went to the Eastern Conference semifinals. Lebron's averaging 25.4 pts, 7.7 assists, 7.1 rebounds and 2.4 steals. He walks into every game with a big bull’s eye on his back and still produces every night. Earlier in season, he reached 2,000 career points quicker than any person ever and apparently there is no stopping him. Nash is getting a lot of mention because he is the trigger man for Phoenix's great offense. While we like Nash alot and think he's playing great, we just can't give the award to someone that doesn't play defense. You at least have to make an attempt on the defensive side if you expect to win the MVP award.

10) Trent: "Who's the big winner here tonight at the casino? Mikey, that's who. Mikey's the big winner! Mikey wins!"

Alright, who's the big winner in the first half of the season? We feel there are alot of pretenders out there, but the "Team to Beat" award goes to the San Antonio Spurs. Miami, Phoenix, Detroit, Dallas all are doing great, but it's the Spurs with their team defense concept that is still the ones to beat. They've got a record of 41-12 (tied with Phoenix), score 97.1 pts a game but only allow 86.4 (best in the NBA). If you want to win the title, history shows us you better play defense, and nobody plays it better. On top of it, Duncan is having another monster year, and Parker and Ginobili form the "best foreign backcourt" in the game. I see San Antonio facing Miami in the finals, and if Shaq is healthy, it could be a classic, ala Frazier/Ali. Two heavyweights going toe to toe for 15 rounds with the Spurs winning game 7.

There you have it, the 1/5th first mid season NBA awards. I think I'm in the mood for a martini and some Big Bad Voodoo Daddy!

Until next time,

Bill